Friday, August 26, 2016

Waffle Critiques: Negotiations


https://www.fimfiction.net/story/301668/negotiations


“I’m not worth it, I know,” the waffle encrusted.

I’ve never seen a story with two pre-readers and three editors that has so many grammatical errors, quite astonishing actually. Mmm, a kick in the back for you, and no doubt you feel to stab me, don’t you? With that knife of yours, which you hold in your flimsy hands, but I rarely mention anyone involved in or out of the process of penning in these review-thingies because it’s gotten me in trouble before, oops! How does it feel being called out anyway? Like, meaningful or something? Probably not, hmm, I shouldn’t try to flatter myself like that.

In an apocalyptic Conversion Bureau-future, the ponies came to our human world, started a war and lost. Not so misanthropic now, are you, people? Yes, I’ve seen a lot of people-friendly stories lately and I like it; they’re a little more equivocal usually. Anyway! Twilight––who’s capitulated––is stuck with a raw deal and has to negotiate her sexy butt out of it with a U.N. representative of the world Earth and they’ve a surprisingly ideological conversation filled with drama and hapless candor. From one end of the negotiating table to another:

Monday, August 31, 2015

Top 15 Moral Lessons from Friendship is Magic (Seasons 1-3)


Welcome to my countdown of the best morals around, I hope you’re patient with me because this is the first time I’ve done this. The children’s series My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic features a freaking menagerie of moral lessons for kids, some of which we can all learn from. In the hardships of life, a sudden gush of optimism can bring perspective and the episodes illustrating these lessons radiate that. From friendly reminders, to conventional wisdom-defying feats, each on this list says something important that I agree with. I will rate the lessons, top down, based on their friendship letters, episodic denouements, how well I feel the story conveyed them and the impression they left on me. With that said:

Friday, August 7, 2015

CW Passive-Aggressively Rambles About Something He Found In The "New Stories"-Feed (Something I Found): Catching Butterflies

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/278614/catching-butterflies


Maybe I’m just not sufficiently jaded, you know. Maybe I can’t see the trees for the oh so winsome forest. This story has four tags: Romance, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe and Human. It’s not out of boundary or anything, but it certainly is stating the contents in an aggrandized fashion. Romance is a minor part of it, and rather spoilery, I might add. I’d hate to be categorical, because then I’ll be just like those across-the-board taggings, which I hate, but I see red every time there’s a story with four of them, or even more.

I need to take a breath. This day has been nary a relaxing moment congested. I only chose this story because of it’s manageable length, and because it looked kind of charming, which it was, with a stipulation or two. Why do I always pick the offish/winsome ones? Is it my destiny to wallow in ambiguity, never a day free from the shackles that binds me in my unquenchable quest for knowledge? Know what? … Forget it! You could try “silence says more than a thousand words” but I know that’s just an excuse for people who aren’t good with words, so let’s go, yolks!

Friday, July 31, 2015

Nostalgia Month: Rainbow Factory

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/5381/rainbow-factory


Rainbow Factory is the story about Scootaloo and her two OC friendos and how they fail their flight tests and get to go on a magical journey to the mystical Rainbow Factory. Being so that this fanfic is shrouded in mystery by the beginning, I am going to incorporate one or two more spoilers than what is normally customary when writing these kinds of reviews in order to keep it more thorough. With that said, if you aren’t a fan of spoilers, run. Run like you’ve never ran before! Oh, and I recommend it for a read. Byes!

Disclaimer: The views and grammatical prowess expressed within does not necessarily reflect CW's of today.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Nostalgia Month: Cupcakes

https://docs.google.com/document/d/14lgUY7yfbooT5IT6miNNbPqSY_qLA9aiVMjsEpszePk/edit?hl=en# (not on Fimfiction, GDocs link provided instead)


Easy operations, here, you guys. I have read the piece of fiction known as Cupcakes by one-time MLP author, Sgt. Sparkles and I have to say, it rocked. That being, of inanition, chortles, chortles, chortles and chortles. It is the story about Rainbow Dash being invited over to Sugar Cube Corner for fun, but instead of that. We have Pinkie drugging her down, dragging her down into her basement and doing things to poor ol’ Rainbow. You know, dismembering her, slowly driving her toward a stupendously racking death.

Disclaimer: The views and grammatical prowess expressed within does not necessarily represent CW's of today.

Friday, July 17, 2015

Nostalgia Month: Sunny Skies All Day Long

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/20685/sunny-skies-all-day-long


This is going to feel just like an actual episode, they told me. You are in for a treat, they told me. You are moving up toward the brink of greatness, they told. Well, I have something to tell you; you depraved, tasteless bastards. Oh, I have something to tell you alright. I… did not particularly care for it… 

Am I to be blamed? Be the judge of that yourself. Just as I am here to be the judge of this story. Oh, aren’t we having the bestest of times. So, the premise goes as such, Princess Celestia has growned tired of all the sissy, prissy, frivolous suck-upping she is forced to deal with day out and day in. Thusly, she forms a brilliant scheme through which she is to promenade right into Ponyville, undercover, so that our lil’ princess can be made able to enjoy a little spare time away from all the hard work and overblown formality.

Disclaimer: The views and grammatical prowess expressed within does not necessarily reflect CW's of today.